Happiness

Happiness. Ah, what does that much used word mean? Happiness is regarded as such a fundamental need that that the pursuit of it, along with life and liberty are written into the Constitution of the United States of America as the three inalienable rights.

Happiness. Ah, what does that much used word mean? Happiness is regarded as such a fundamental need that that the pursuit of it, along with life and liberty are written into the Constitution of the United States of America as the three inalienable rights.

Most of us strive to achieve what we think is going to make us blissful: a new job, a promotion, a special recognition, a different physical appearance, a certain amount of money, some particular possessions, and generally more stuff. Are we content when we attain those things? You know the answer, it may for a brief time and then the hunger and the restlessness creeps back; now if only I had..

Dr. Ed Diener, a professor of psychology at the University of Illinois, has devoted his distinguished career to studying the link between happiness and wealth. His conclusion is that emotional well-being is determined not by your bank account, but most significantly by the quality of your social relationships and satisfaction at your work.

What really makes us happy are usually not things. It is the warmth of the smile and openness of a child as he/she reaches for your hand; it is in the inner glow you feel when you know youve helped and connected with someone; it is in the center of your being when you know that you are doing the right thing.

Chasing happiness by pursuing a material goal is like climbing the ladder to the top only to find that you have climbed up the wrong wall. What do you do instead? First, laugh. Allow yourself to see the silliness in buying into the relentless media messages that bombard you to believe that joy comes from outside. Happiness ultimately is an inside job.

Young children focus on the immediate events around them. Their joy, comes from what is happening in the moment. They are not fearing the future and bemoaning the past. They are not waiting to be happy. They delight in the butterfly that lands delicately on a flower, clap happily when they hear a favorite song, and are wide-eyed with wonder and joy when they see the first snowfall. Do you remember?

One day without any conscious effort, things begin to change. We begin to define our happiness by certain goals in the future: once that happens then Ill be happy. Or we are unhappy because of something that happened already. There are many reasons for sadness: health challenges, financial challenges or the loss of a loved one, to name a few. How we deal with the situation is what either moves us back into equilibrium or keep us mired in the grief.

I lost my husband suddenly to a heart attack when I was in my thirties. It became a struggle for me to even want to get out of bed and to change out of my pajamas in the morning. I lost a lot of weight and was sleep-walking through life in the next few months. I grieved deeply and also prayed for Spiritual guidance to find the blessing in this unforeseen experience. It was a true test of my philosophy of happiness is an inside job.

I made a ritual to give thanks everyday for my blessings as soon as I woke up and as the last thing I did every night. Slowly the exercise of gratitude returned me to my center. My inner knowing sent me the message that events happen for good reasons even though they may seem inexplicable at the time. I sought to find the good in my loss. One thing I learned was how to have fun without waiting for others to suggest entertaining activities; I now delight in initiating play. I resumed my non-profit work and took on a challenging new position across the country. The more I put my focus on what was good, the more I noticed there was more good. My mood lifted with each gratitude I gave and in time I noticed that I was happier again.

Long term happiness is related to whether one is living their life purpose. When I feel that I am making a positive difference in the world, I feel fulfilled and content. Each one of us have a unique reason for being. We each have our individual dreams, but they all come down to one central theme: we want to feel that it mattered to someone(s) that we have lived.

How do you know if you are living your life mission? When the noises in your head, the shoulds, would haves, ought tos quiet down, you know you are on your path. Take time to journal and meditate on what is truly important to you. Take the steps to do what really calls to you, research, prepare and plan for contingencies, but go ahead, step fully into your dream. You will be exhilarated and alive. The urgent is not as critical as the important; sometimes the ringing phone can just keep ringing, they can call back or leave a message.

Happiness is also taking time to say thank you, to appreciate the small as well as big things that we are grateful for. The very act of acknowledging the good lifts our spirits. It is in delighting in the little joys, like a long hot bath after a grueling week of intense work, or the ten minute break to call an old friend for their birthday, or a great physical workout. Happiness is living fully.

Celebrate fun! Be spontaneous, invite your friends, order take out food and have a little surprise party, just because. Give yourself a treat like a 15 minute massage as you walk by that stress relief store in the mall or airport. Smile at the Salvation Army bell ringer, make a donation. Stop at the sidewalk stand that the neighbor kids set up, chat with them, buy something. Tell someone that you appreciate them, and say why. Ask questions and listen; pay attention to people when they are speaking. Youll learn a lot more and also find that communication and relationships go much smoother. When you do these fun and easy things, youll find that your days are happier and that you smile more and yes, people smile back at you too!

In todays hectic world it is very easy to feel rushed and stressed. It may take you conscious effort to remember to delight in the simple joys in life. Laugh, find humor in some of lifes small frustrations, it will make the day go better.

Maybe one day our whole world will be like Bhutan, a country with a National Gross Happiness Index. Bhutan's King Druk Gyalpo Jigme Singye Wangchuck wanted an alternative to the conventional Gross Domestic Product (GDP) ranking. He felt that the GDP did not indicate a nation's true wealth. Visionary leaders shouldn't only strive for the countrys material wealth, they must also cultivate inner contentment for their people. Bhutan's Index covers everything from protecting natural resources to promoting a strong national culture and ensuring democratic governance -- goals that help create a foundation of happiness for the citizens.

You can start being happier right now. Its easy, just smile and give thanks that you are relaxing for a moment and reading this article!

"Often people attempt to live their life backwards.
They try to have more things or more money to do
more of what they want, so they will be happier.
The way it actually works is in reverse. You
must first be who you really are, then do
what you need to do to have what you want."
-- Margaret Young

Marilyn Tam is an influential corporate leader, speaker, consultant, author and social activist. www.HowToUseWhatYouveGot.com

Side Bar On Bhutan
Bhutan, the Buddhist kingdom tucked between India and China, is the size of Switzerland and has less than a million people (830,000). Their economic wealth is among the lowest in the world and they only ended their self imposed isolation in the 1990s. Yet the Bhutanese are reputed to be the happiest people in the world. Outside observers, as well as the Bhutanese themselves, attribute this to the wisdom and vision of their King, His Majesty King Druk Gyalpo Jigme Singye Wangchuck.

In 1972, King Jigme Singye Wangchuck deeply concerned about the effects of globalization on their unique culture, was determined to protect it. He wanted to safeguard their social and cultural values by converting them into quantifiable terms so that the wider world may understand and respect them. This lead eventually to the development of the Gross Happiness Index to gauge properly the countrys social, cultural, and environmental assets as well as its economic development.

In 1998, the prime minister, Lyonpo Jigmi Thinley, formalized the vision into the government's new master plan, the Four Pillars of Happiness. These pillars: sustainable economic development, conservation of the environment, the promotion of national culture, and good governance -- create conditions "in which every individual will be able to pursue happiness with reasonable success," says Mr. Thinley.

"Bhutan is a very rare example, probably the only example in the world, of a country that has built happiness into the center of its development strategy," says Ron Coleman, director of GPI Atlantic, a Canadian nonprofit research organization that studies the quality of life. "They are sacrificing short-term income for long-term social health."

Marilyn Tam is an influential corporate leader, speaker, consultant, author, and social activist. www.HowToUseWhatYouveGot.com. In her book, How to Use What Youve Got to Get What You Want Ms. Tam talks about how to discover your own inner North Star, and how to use it to navigate your efforts to achieve maximum personal success.