Your Face Rings a Bell (But I Still Don’t Know Who You Are)

Forgetting faces is probably even more embarrassing than forgetting names. At least if you remember someones face but not their name, you at least know that youve met him or her before. When youre like me, and forgetful of faces, you end up introducing yourself to people youve met before. How can you cope (besides simply meeting less people)?

Forgetting faces is probably even more embarrassing than forgetting names. Unfortunately, this is an affliction that I have. At least if you remember someones face but not their name, you at least know that youve met him or her before. When youre like me, and forgetful of faces, you end up introducing yourself to people youve met before. I think my personal faux pas record is introducing myself four times to the same person before finally forcing myself to remember his face.

How can you cope (besides simply meeting less people)? Here are a few ideas:

Pay attention

I think this is my personal weaknessIve got three other things on my mind when Im talking, or Im being introduced rapid sequence to four or five different people. Pay attention--you cant remember what you didnt see in the first place.

Take your time

If you are being introduced to multiple people at the same time, take your time looking at and getting to know each person as an individual. You may not have time for each person; you may be better served by working on remembering only some of them than by spending too little time on all and in the end remembering none.

Make eye contact

Asian tradition says to not look people directly in the eye. Interestingly, for me this inclination is reinforced by my profession. As a radiologist, Im used to talking into a dictation phone while looking at x-rays, and used to talking to other doctors while looking at x-rays (and not them). So Im used to extensive conversations while not looking at the listener. And with cellphones and computer screens to draw our attention, many of you also are picking up the bad habit of looking and talking in different directions. It may seem obvious, but if you dont actually look at the person, you cant possibly remember his or her appearance. So lookbut dont stare.

Focus on features that are permanent

An ex-girlfriend of mine was notorious for this. Wed go to a function, and afterwards wed talk about the people we met. Shed say, you know, he was the guy with the blue shirt. Identification by clothing works on the same day as the event, but when he changes his shirt, forget it, hes unknown all over again. Likewise, avoid remembering people based on hair style or color or facial hair, since a trip to the barber will suddenly render that person unrecognizable to you. Even eye color can change thanks to contact lenses (although this is uncommon).

Think like an artist

Have you ever tried to draw a persons face from memory? Artists say that art is not only the manual skill of painting or drawing, but more importantly the ability to observeto actually see what youre looking at. Study the persons features. Head shape, forehead, eyebrows. Eyes, nose, mouth. (Presence of moles can help as well, but definitely try not to stare at those). As an added bonus, this will keep you looking at others faces instead of their chests or other body parts.

Learn to be an observer

If you look at people in your daily routine and learn to appreciate the variations in facial features, youll be better equipped to quickly analyze and remember faces over time. Just like being a doctor, once you learn the different ways diseases manifest themselves, youll be a lot faster in recognizing them in the future.

Associate the face with the name

In Austin Powers: Goldmember, theres a mole (spy) with a large mole (skin mole). Thats easy to remember, but real life is never that easy in pairing a face with a name. A good mnemonic technique is to think of a ridiculous story linking the features with the name. The more fanciful or outrageous the story, the more memorable itll be.

For example, lets say your friend Cynthia has arched eyebrows and a pointed nose.
Imagine that your friend gets a discount at McDonalds because her eyebrows resemble the double arches of the McDonalds sign, and that she can peck out her orders at the counter with her nose. Is this unflattering? You bet, and of course youre never going to tell this story to her, but now youve got the features memorized, right?

Face recognition and recall is something Im bad at, but if this is a challenge you face as well, perhaps we can both get better at it.

Next Time: Why We Cant Talk About Asian Faces