You Are Good Enough

By Marilyn Tam

They cannot take away our self-respect if we do not give it to them. 

 ~Mahatma Gandhi

            Are you good enough? Most people harbor feelings that somehow if people really knew who they are, they will not like them. This nagging feeling buzzes in the brain like small yet powerfully irritating mosquitoes, ready to sting at any moment, undermining our confidence to claim our rightful place at the table. This sense of insecurity can be negatively self-fulfilling and very destructive because it robs us of the confidence and courage to forge ahead on achieving our dreams. The choice to change is in our own hands.

            Being an unwanted child I was told from as early as I can recall that I was worthless, not a good start to building self-esteem. Yet eventually I learned to trust my inner knowing that each person is worthwhile just as they are. Self-respect gave me the strength and resilience to leave home in my mid teens and come to America, and to succeed in business, humanitarian work and in life.  How did that happen? I was blessed along the way with angels who told me that I was OK. We all have those angels in our lives when we look for them.

            My first angel was my grandfather who gave me my Chinese name, Hay Lit, the...

Among aid workers in the south Indian state of Tamil Nadu, the rush to build shelters after the December 2004 tsunami came to be known as the Pongal hurry.

By Ken Moritsugu
December 7, 2005

NAGAPATTINAM, India Among aid workers in the south Indian state of Tamil Nadu, the rush to build shelters after the December 2004 tsunami came to be known as the Pongal hurry.

At the time, the flurry of construction seemed like the right thing to do. People desperately needed shelter, and, with donations pouring in, money was not an issue. The Tamil Nadu government set a goal of moving the homeless into temporary housing by Pongal, a mid-January harvest festival. Eager aid agencies sprang into action.

But in the rush to build, some key considerations got overlooked. Shelters built in low-lying areas ended up flooding during the rainy season. Tarpaper roofs turned the windowless barracks into ovens. Aid agencies returned later and built thatched roofs over the shelters; the difference in temperature was palpable.

Its a shame we are all living with, said Annie George, head of the council coordinating tsunami relief in Nagapattinam, the hardest hit district in Tamil Nadu. The haste in building temporary shelters cost us more. Every two months, were going back to raise the floor, fix the roof.

With so much suffering after major disasters, its human nature to want to deliver relief as quickly as possible. But haste can make waste. A post-tsunami rush to build boats for fishermen produced a...

Feeling Stressed, and Wanting More Time? By Marilyn Tam 

“How did it get so late so soon?” - Dr. Seuss “It’s November already, where did the year go?”

“The holidays are coming, and I’m still caught up in projects that I started months ago.” “Get all my work done? If I had 48 hours in a day I may get caught up in another year. Do you relate? Occasionally or more often, everyone has felt that time was rushing by, carrying with it our chances to finish what we began, say sorry, or redo something that we wish we hadn’t done.

When the days are so packed with demands, both assigned and self-imposed, we have a tendency to live in a constant mad rush. Many of us multi-task and juggle urgent projects daily, careening through life with little time to ask why and what are we really doing. Later, sometimes too late, we realize that in our scramble through life, we have neglected what was truly meaningful to us.

I’ve been there and more than a few times; living like that is an unsustainable and unhappy way to live. If you are feeling too stressed with what seems like an endless to do list, slow down. Take a deep breath, and then take another one, and then say, “What would happen if I didn’t do this task at this very moment?  What is really most important?  What is the truth here for me? Pull yourself back enough to get distance and perspective. Listen to the voice of your inner wisdom. The right answer to what you...

Five Secrets to a Happy, Healthy & Successful Life  By Marilyn Tam

You make well-meaning resolutions to improve your life. But your resolutions fade under the stress of multiple demands on your time and attention. Oftentimes the resolutions are history before the month is done. How can we ensure that we actually benefit from the good intentions that we made with such conviction?

Many years ago I made an earnest resolution to work less and to spend more time on my personal life, family and health.

Being a type A personality, it was easier to say that than to follow through. By late in the same month, as I am running through another airport, I realized that I am already back to my old pattern of working seven days a week.

On the next plane ride I took the time to ask myself a few hard questions. From that experience I developed these Five Guidelines to have a Happier, Healthier and more Successful Life. Isn't that what we are ultimately after?

1. Make resolutions that you can manage. Specify your desired end result and make the goals measureable. For example, instead of saying that you want to lose weight, give yourself a specific time frame for a number of pounds or inches broken down into smaller pieces so that you have incremental targets to meet. Make the objectives a slight stretch but achievable. You are more likely to continue once you see positive progress towards your ultimate goal.

Limit the number of resolutions. Your mind can only deal with so many...

32nd Annual Lunar New Year Gala honoring Katrina vanden Heuvel, Charles J. Ogletree, Jr., and Ivan K. Fong, 2006 AALDEF Justice in Action Award recipients.

The Asian American Legal Defense and Education Fund (AALDEF) honors Katrina vanden Heuvel, Editor of The Nation magazine, Charles J. Ogletree, Jr., Harvard Law School Professor, and Ivan K. Fong, Executive Vice President and Chief Legal Officer of Cardinal Health, with AALDEF Justice in Action Awards at its annual Lunar New Year Gala on Thursday, February 2, 2006 at PIER SIXTY in New York City.

The Justice in Action Award is AALDEFs highest recognition of individuals who have paved the way for racial justice and equality for Asian Americans. Past recipients have included the late civil rights hero Fred Korematsu, filmmaker Mira Nair, attorney Alice Young, and playwright David Henry Hwang.

Proceeds from the gala benefit AALDEF's legal and educational programs in the areas of immigrant rights, economic justice for workers, voting rights and civic participation, affirmative action, language access to services, youth rights and educational equality, and the elimination of hate violence and police misconduct.

For ticket and RSVP info contact Lillian Ling, (212) 966-5932 ext. 202 or This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. document.getElementById('cloak089222c0c68b16b45bc4f727f5c8f522').innerHTML = ''; var prefix = 'ma' + 'il' + 'to'; var path = 'hr' + 'ef' + '='; var...